Why I love windows
Rum and Cola
Kidnapped in Sindri
By abductors with moustaches twice the length of limbs
His ugly wife put sindoor on his forehead
As he sat on his under-weight two-wheeler en route to Bokaro
Three men kidnapped him
In front of his house
For a ransom of 10 million in ten rupee coins
Hid him in Dhanbad
Along with seven other ransom kidnappings
Rum and Cola was chained
Hands bound with a moustache-piece
Rum and Cola escaped through the window
When the three men were engrossed in the cricket score
When he reported to work, after five months
Rum and Cola said
Thank god for broken windows
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Five things I did today
1. I watered my artificial plants with soda.
2. I read about a 600-metre wall with electric rods. Will the electrified portion of the wall be removed, thereby allowing Dalits from entering Uthapuram village, near Ezhumalai in Madurai district?
3. I speak to my nephew who tells me the iPhone is his favourite pet.
4. I lose a game of chess in which I had visualised the winning position a full 13 moves ahead. My opponent tells me, the number of legal chess positions is 1040. And the number of different possible games, 10120.
5. I read Gul-e-Naghma. Now, should one accept Firaq Gorakhpuri's poems as anthropological truth?
2. I read about a 600-metre wall with electric rods. Will the electrified portion of the wall be removed, thereby allowing Dalits from entering Uthapuram village, near Ezhumalai in Madurai district?
3. I speak to my nephew who tells me the iPhone is his favourite pet.
4. I lose a game of chess in which I had visualised the winning position a full 13 moves ahead. My opponent tells me, the number of legal chess positions is 1040. And the number of different possible games, 10120.
5. I read Gul-e-Naghma. Now, should one accept Firaq Gorakhpuri's poems as anthropological truth?
Friday, March 16, 2012
A few basic truths for myself
A few basic truths for myself
1.
Keep it simple
I say
Just keep breathing
2.
I stood poised before two mountains
Climb me, said one
I'm older than him
3.
I'm awake
Cannot walk to the bathroom
The sea is under my bed
4.
I am a skydiver
13 miles above the ground
I finally figure out
What happens to a cloud in the wind
When my parachute jams
And refuses to open
5.
A nutmeg tree knocks on my window
Don't under-estimate me
Your ancestors were colonised due to me
6.
When I'm mellow
I change the bulb in my room
From battleship grey to lemon yellow
7.
The Hibiscus was unlucky
To be plucked
For the tomb of a wastrel
If he had bloomed a day later
He would have been presented to the King of Bhutan
At the international airport
8.
One beer said to the other
Lets have a martini tonight
9.
My plan to replenish the government coffers
Tax all sinners
10.
What are nations for?
1.
Keep it simple
I say
Just keep breathing
2.
I stood poised before two mountains
Climb me, said one
I'm older than him
3.
I'm awake
Cannot walk to the bathroom
The sea is under my bed
4.
I am a skydiver
13 miles above the ground
I finally figure out
What happens to a cloud in the wind
When my parachute jams
And refuses to open
5.
A nutmeg tree knocks on my window
Don't under-estimate me
Your ancestors were colonised due to me
6.
When I'm mellow
I change the bulb in my room
From battleship grey to lemon yellow
7.
The Hibiscus was unlucky
To be plucked
For the tomb of a wastrel
If he had bloomed a day later
He would have been presented to the King of Bhutan
At the international airport
8.
One beer said to the other
Lets have a martini tonight
9.
My plan to replenish the government coffers
Tax all sinners
10.
What are nations for?
Monday, March 5, 2012
Why I stopped breathing
If you say Stravinsky couldn't write music
If you hope Krishnaji Howlaji Ara could paint like Gainsborough
If you feel Sterne can't make a book coherent
If all you get from Proust is: 1.25 million words on 2,408 pages
Then I must reduce my life to
A narrow typeface, claustrophobic margins
Semi-colons, subordinate clauses
And stop breathing
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Joshi Book Depot
I stand in front of Joshi Book Depot
To buy a book
What if I open the shutter
Commas and full stops will leap out
Plus well-told lies
I don't fully comprehend
Or
I stand in front of a book
Should I open it
Will words leap out
Attack me with commas and full stops
Plus well-told lies
To buy a book
What if I open the shutter
Commas and full stops will leap out
Plus well-told lies
I don't fully comprehend
Or
I stand in front of a book
Should I open it
Will words leap out
Attack me with commas and full stops
Plus well-told lies
Monday, January 30, 2012
A ballad to democracy
1.
Democracy is its people who sleep for eight and a half hours a day
2.
Democracy is a scab
In the first place it ought not to be there
Then when you scratch it, it gains in stature
The more you itch, greater the satisfaction
3.
Does democracy vote? Ever?
4.
Does democracy stand in a line when it decides to vote?
5.
Democracy is determined by the collection of rare pens
With special nibs
Creating grandiloquent speeches
Its followers memorise and publish
6.
Democracy is a joke we are solemn about
7.
Last time one of us dialled democracy - all the lines on that route were muffled
8.
Democracy's claim to fame
It hasn't missed a single debate in Parliament
9.
Democracy is a noun
10.
Democracy is a clause
11.
Democracy is an irregular sort of verb
12.
Democracy is demoncracy - the fear of monstrosities
13.
Democracy broods
When asked why
It says I dread the day someone will read the Constitution
14.
Democracy is democrazy
15.
Democracy is more demo than demos
16.
Democracy is the voice of the people that speaks 2,176 dialects
17.
Democracy is fragmented
18.
Democracy is absolute
19.
Democracy is public
20.
Democracy is personal
21.
Democracy is next to godliness
22.
Democracy a day keeps election expenses away
23.
Democracy: A fool's paradise?
24.
Democracy: All's well that ends well?
25.
If it isn't monarchy and it isn't fascist there's a good chance it's democracy.
PS: Now tell me, is your democracy better or mine?
Democracy is its people who sleep for eight and a half hours a day
2.
Democracy is a scab
In the first place it ought not to be there
Then when you scratch it, it gains in stature
The more you itch, greater the satisfaction
3.
Does democracy vote? Ever?
4.
Does democracy stand in a line when it decides to vote?
5.
Democracy is determined by the collection of rare pens
With special nibs
Creating grandiloquent speeches
Its followers memorise and publish
6.
Democracy is a joke we are solemn about
7.
Last time one of us dialled democracy - all the lines on that route were muffled
8.
Democracy's claim to fame
It hasn't missed a single debate in Parliament
9.
Democracy is a noun
10.
Democracy is a clause
11.
Democracy is an irregular sort of verb
12.
Democracy is demoncracy - the fear of monstrosities
13.
Democracy broods
When asked why
It says I dread the day someone will read the Constitution
14.
Democracy is democrazy
15.
Democracy is more demo than demos
16.
Democracy is the voice of the people that speaks 2,176 dialects
17.
Democracy is fragmented
18.
Democracy is absolute
19.
Democracy is public
20.
Democracy is personal
21.
Democracy is next to godliness
22.
Democracy a day keeps election expenses away
23.
Democracy: A fool's paradise?
24.
Democracy: All's well that ends well?
25.
If it isn't monarchy and it isn't fascist there's a good chance it's democracy.
PS: Now tell me, is your democracy better or mine?
Sunday, January 29, 2012
25 ragas of sorts
1.
What will fade first?
The ferns I forget to water?
Or my memory of Bengali?
2.
B told his son
Every fifth brick in that house is laid by me
3.
A test for true music is to stand on your head and listen
4.
He was my best friend because he owned an owl, a Bullet motor-bike and back issues of Playboy
5.
The angry young man told the rich man
Time has been synchronised by the Swiss
It's 12 o'clock no matter who you're
(Please nb: they didn't use the line in the blockbuster film)
6.
The bandicoot, crushed on the zebra crossing, has become two-dimensional
7.
Every time we pass the kebabs and paya stalls
The BEST bus belches and burps
It's a sign of hunger
8.
I stare at a Hebbar
It declines to look at me
9.
Do pigeons shit in the darkness
10.
The Chief Minister smiles at his people, everywhere in the state
Except the lady's cloakroom
11.
He bathes with beer
If he had the money
Says he would have preferred scotch
12.
His feet are in a trance
Every evening, the camel trots faster than usual when he approaches home on seeing his beloved partner
Is it love?
No
It's the fear that the foodstock will be consumed
13.
The cloud resembled Gandhiji's head
All the other clouds stay far away from it
14.
The grass has over-grown, he says
As he has been repeatedly saying everyday
15.
So many donkeys in the bazaar
All braying in togetherness
It's a sign of the times
16.
The tea tastes better whenever the sun enters the glass
17.
A young boy reads the political poster along with me
Until a friend came along and told the boy to stop pretending he can read
18.
The rice mill shall be no more
Where will the rice go
19.
Whose life do I know better?
Proudhon? Ramprasad Bismil? Or mine?
20.
The bust of Narmadh in the town-centre has been displaced
Like his poems never shall be replaced
21.
The two ladies on the jhoola count the dust particles on the sole of each other's feet
That's one way to pass time
22.
A cat on a pile of books about philosophy somehow looks sexier
23.
In Tollygunje he learnt three things
Naxalism, Ray's cinema and that he looked prettier in a frock
24.
The official guide narrates an entertaining history of Hampi
Till he loses his job for indiscriminate lying
25.
The town was renowned for
Dhrupad, doctors, donkeys, dust
And despair
What will fade first?
The ferns I forget to water?
Or my memory of Bengali?
2.
B told his son
Every fifth brick in that house is laid by me
3.
A test for true music is to stand on your head and listen
4.
He was my best friend because he owned an owl, a Bullet motor-bike and back issues of Playboy
5.
The angry young man told the rich man
Time has been synchronised by the Swiss
It's 12 o'clock no matter who you're
(Please nb: they didn't use the line in the blockbuster film)
6.
The bandicoot, crushed on the zebra crossing, has become two-dimensional
7.
Every time we pass the kebabs and paya stalls
The BEST bus belches and burps
It's a sign of hunger
8.
I stare at a Hebbar
It declines to look at me
9.
Do pigeons shit in the darkness
10.
The Chief Minister smiles at his people, everywhere in the state
Except the lady's cloakroom
11.
He bathes with beer
If he had the money
Says he would have preferred scotch
12.
His feet are in a trance
Every evening, the camel trots faster than usual when he approaches home on seeing his beloved partner
Is it love?
No
It's the fear that the foodstock will be consumed
13.
The cloud resembled Gandhiji's head
All the other clouds stay far away from it
14.
The grass has over-grown, he says
As he has been repeatedly saying everyday
15.
So many donkeys in the bazaar
All braying in togetherness
It's a sign of the times
16.
The tea tastes better whenever the sun enters the glass
17.
A young boy reads the political poster along with me
Until a friend came along and told the boy to stop pretending he can read
18.
The rice mill shall be no more
Where will the rice go
19.
Whose life do I know better?
Proudhon? Ramprasad Bismil? Or mine?
20.
The bust of Narmadh in the town-centre has been displaced
Like his poems never shall be replaced
21.
The two ladies on the jhoola count the dust particles on the sole of each other's feet
That's one way to pass time
22.
A cat on a pile of books about philosophy somehow looks sexier
23.
In Tollygunje he learnt three things
Naxalism, Ray's cinema and that he looked prettier in a frock
24.
The official guide narrates an entertaining history of Hampi
Till he loses his job for indiscriminate lying
25.
The town was renowned for
Dhrupad, doctors, donkeys, dust
And despair
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