Friday, April 19, 2013

Every time ...

Every time I kiss her lips
It falls onto the ground

I didn’t know how to dream till I was 13
Since then, I’ve been day dreaming

Every time I cast a vote in the ballot box
They say, it has been confiscated
Every time I meander through the streets
They say, I am lost

Every time I look at the moon
I wonder is that what will become of us
No one who cares to speak
No one ever dares to rebel
Just the sound of wind
Whistling through the garbage

Every time I write a poem in the dark

It self immolates

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Mr J's funeral

No tears
No flowers
When Mr J died
Just a sluggish diya
Whose flame extinguished
Even though the oil wick was replaced
Seven times

A copy of Ambedkar under Mr J's dead head
At Bhupesh Gupta Bhawan
Portentous colleagues who mumbled edits
Once, they believed his credo
Truth is the new hate speech
Now that fight, given up
Mr J, just another martyr
At whose funeral
We gather to pay our respect

Mr J edited a bulletin
That no one read
From a small town in Khandesh
Renowned for its exposés about government projects
Hence threatened
Torch-light flashed on his window
Prank calls to his office
His shirt, pant and under-garments in the balcony, burnt
The tulsi plant at the gate, crushed
His Atlas cycle smashed to pieces
A warning

How Mr J died
No one knew
His carcass found in a sugarcane field 
Near the highway
When his wife, now widow
Who no longer lived with him
Demanded an open trial
The police said, his murder is a figment of the imagination
And then, the state, it sued truth for libel

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

20 Resolutions for Gudi Padwa

1) Be prepared for a 4-D world. If that's not possible make a joke about it

2) Morph bad ideas into good ideas; prevent the vice versa

3) If my brain forgets an idea, be able to re-boot; and recover lost file. On that note: Ensure file transfer with like-minded brains

4) Be able to entertain myself through by conversing with self on Skype

5) Be prepared for a 5-D world

6) Send post-cards to the dead people I love

7) Have X-ray vision that helps me judge a book by its cover; and people by their fake smiles

8) Get away with flatulence in office meetings and family dinners

9) Remember birthdays; and be able to gift people with what they want; and wrap presents in a gift wrapper nicely

10) Always decipher jargon at the first attempt

11) Day dream on command; discover a cure for cancer

12) Master the art of talking to a microphone; which is what great public speakers do

13) Be prepared for a 13-D world; and when it arrives wonder how Satan will look like in a 13-D world?

14) Never blurt out wrong things when I meet famous people

15) Dart between sun-rays; on a warm day

16) Always perfect the art of being in the right lane without having a PhD in neuroscience

17) Be able to read "Quantum Evolution" by Jonjoe McFadden; and not spill the popcorn when I turn the pages

18) Develop an anti-prejudice sound-field that jams unpleasantness

19) Ensure my cellphone replies to calls and sms on its own; through high levels of consciousness

20) Be prepared for a 20-D world; even if that sounds like tosh, right now

To Asghar Ali Engineer Saab, I say ...

To the local astrologer, I went and asked
Junaab: yeh inquilaab kab aayega?

His followers prohibited from worshiping idols
Yet his lordship prays to his fleet of Rolls Royce engines
Instead of blessing his tribe with the Ta'wil and Ta'fsir
When they crawl for the Sajda under his feet

Spies, spies, they are everywhere
Imprisoning you for what you think

Ali Sardar Jaffri
Balraj Sahni
Khwaja Ahmed Abbas
Krishnan Chander

Unlike you
All of the above, sign Madame's letter
Instead of throwing the pen, away


You say to me
The Ganges may be Holier
But the canal
Near Maliyana and Hashimpura
Is bloodier

The first story you told me
About the E Maidan
Where factories rioted with factories
And the brassware industry lived unhappily ever after

The second story you told me
About the constabulary 
Who severed her legs
And yet, the young girl (known for her personal hygiene)
Crawled to the river in Logaingaon
To complete her daily bath

The third story you told me
About potatoes 
Who were persecuted under Section 153 A
Since the innocent blood
Found beneath the soil
Improved crop cultivation

We have been notified
The 300 mini-riots in 1990
Cannot be classified as riots
It was an endeavour in communal harmony
To recycle the dead beings into medical implants
For the other

Asghar Ali Engineer Saab
To you, I say
Gaali khaya
Maar khaaya
Jihaad kiya

Now let's go to a disco
Where I know a dervish DJ 
We can drink all night
Till our faith fades away ... 

(Dr Asghar Ali Engineer passed away on 14 May 2013)

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Five thoughts for the day

1. I think, my family is full of black sheep. I am the only white sheep in my family 

2. I think, I should stop using a smartphone since it contains Cotlan which is a mineral that funds paramilitary operations that prop up illegal governments in Central America 

3. I think, I should seek sponsorship that enables me to travel to Mars and permanently etch a :-) on its surface; so that it's visible from planet earth and serves to improve the general human happiness index

4. I think, someplace somewhere, a Scottish villager, a Buddhist family, the mistress of a football manager, a Wall Street swindler, an Indonesian billionaire, a Russian corporate executive and an international arms dealer are listening to the same Joan Baez song 

5. I think, I live one day at a time; during the nights I asthamise

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Smallest river in the world

I've four types of friends
Those with whom time passes by quickly
Those with whom I've roamed the suburban streets
Those that I owe money
Those that are not here
Their lies I miss the most

I spotted a koyal
Who sat on a coconut tree 
Your sur have you found it?
Still waiting, the koyal said

The government
Has issued a death threat
To all droughts
In this land

The world
Has entered my room
Through a concupiscence crack
In the roof

In my village they call rabi crops: bliss
When they sell it
In the mandi
It is at the wholesale rate

A stream flows through my home
I measure it every day
It's tide, it's birth place, it's final source
It's sweetness

Today morning, I dip a bucket into it
To borrow water for my monthly bath
This loss, according to unconfirmed reports
Will ensure
It shall be declared
As the smallest river in the world