Friday, March 29, 2013

Five shorts about the people

Here I am
A big mistake
What about you?


It is election season
Political parties, sprouting
People of the land, busy
Sweeping the dead leaves


My words when formed
They, hurt you
That's why I am stitching
This button on my mouth


The plague
It's everywhere
This time, it's fear
No vaccine for it

900 million people in this land 
Prefer cell-phones and mobiles
To a toilet inside their home
It tells you something about us

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Five shorts of sorts

The blacks, they laugh; the whites, they frown
Ambidexterous emotions are for the browns

When you do a rotation
Inter-change the notation
The blacks become white
All wrong becomes right
Judgement is a see saw
All rules are vice versa

O citizens at homes, prisons and stations
In this way, we formed The United Nations

No cloud in the sky
For seven years
The grass is migrating

How to launch
A stock exchange
That hedges on poverty
Thereby creating zero dilemma for brokers
Who are simply confused
If investing in the poor is good
Rather than the rich as a collateral

Oh, it would be so onerous to make money

If life is a great big blockbuster
I'm not the star
Never can be
Not even the extra
Who does three shifts sans pay
I could apply for the role
Of a prompter
Who writes his own lines
Intermittently interjecting them
In someone else's side-story

My father aims to be
Environmentally friendly
Henceforth, he will operate
On solar energy

Friday, March 22, 2013

Five shorts from London

I smiled
She got up and exited
After having borrowed
Half of my smile

I saw Satyadev on a book cover
Between Shaw and Pinter
On a shelf in Charing Cross Road
I said to him, Guruji, you're so unpredictable
He replied: First get rid of George, then Harold
And find me better companions

I walked into the local police station
To report the missing sun
The captain said
According to reports
Someone evil has swallowed the sun
Along with their fish and chips
And vomitted it out
In your corner of the planet

I sat in the tavern
I realised they serve local brew
That are nick-named after thinkers
I had a pint of Johnson
A peg of Mills and Gladstone
Next day, I realised these gentlemen are tough to digest
Hence the old adage: Do not mix your drinks

I entered the train
She was texting on her iPhone
As I disembarked
I noticed her eye lashes
Had floated away
With her tears

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Five shorts from Teddington

The pianist played like Bach
Sounded like Offenbach
While his tone deaf audience
Applauded at all the wrong places

Can't see London
It's covered
With the light dust
Of snow
On the railway map

Smiles grew 30% last year
Thereby breaking the world record of smiles
Best stats in a decade
This, according to researchers
Of the Smile Unlimited Inc

One in three smiles are fake — again a rise
A chuckle is no longer a major part of this activity
Close to two-thirds of smile owners prefer smirking
And most people grinned for no reason at all

There lives a surgeon in Teddington
Who takes care of apple trees
He prunes the branches
He clears the leaflets
He counsels the ancient roots for free

Walking around the town
Is a good way to observe the local pagans
Except most of the people are indoors
Having a traiteur meal
Of braised beef with mushrooms

The A to Z of Taxation

The A to Z of Taxation

Tax abbreviations
Tax burping
Tax chicanerism
Tax dandruff
Tax ennui
Tax flatulence
Tax gods
Tax hunger
Tax income tax
Tax jeopardisations
Tax kinkiness
Tax laughter
Tax mothers who deliver babies
Tax nonsense
Tax obsequiousness
Tax puritanism
Tax queues
Tax ransoms
Tax sinning
Tax talking
Tax UFOs
Tax violence
Tax walking
Tax x-rated thoughts
Tax yawning
Tax zig zagging

Five shorts on a flight

Cymbeline and Coriolanus met
By the Thames
Do you think, we got a raw deal
As compared to that chap, Hamlet

The first officially recorded historical kiss was
Who kissed whom?
Did the kiss back-fire?

Flamingos flock to Sewri, annually
Sparrows abandon it, simultaneously

I sense hedonism
Mixed with the dust
In the sole of the city
Has been such
For four hundred years

I wanted to go to the loo
Noel told me not to
Why, I asked him
He said, we are flying over the Caspian Sea
Its bad etiquette to pee into sea water

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

My legs and I

My legs want to walk
I tell them, that can wait
For the time being, drop me to my parent's home

So then, my left foot jumps ahead
Before the right one
And they tell each other
Catch me if you can

Its impossible that feeling
It's not a trek, it's not a walk
It's a race
Between my left foot and my right one
Twice the speed of sound

The badly behaved
Very rowdy wind
Pushes me towards a river
The tiniest in the world
I could drink all its water
So much of thirst
But the river walks off
It leaves me behind