Every time ...

1.
Every time I kiss her lips
It falls onto the ground

2.
I didn’t know how to dream till I was 13
Since then, I’ve been day dreaming

3.
Every time I cast a vote in the ballot box
They say, it has been confiscated
Every time I meander through the streets
They say, I am lost


4.
Every time I look at the moon
I wonder is that what will become of us
No one who cares to speak
No one ever dares to rebel
Just the sound of wind
Whistling through the garbage

5.
Every time I write a poem in the dark
It self immolates

Mr J's funeral

No tears

No flowers

When Mr J died

Just a sluggish diya

Whose flame extinguished

Even though the oil wick was replaced

Seven times

A copy of Ambedkar under Mr J's dead head

At Bhupesh Gupta Bhawan

Portentous colleagues who mumbled edits

Once, they believed his credo

Truth is the new hate speech

Now that fight, given up

Mr J, just another martyr

At whose funeral

We gather to pay our respect

Mr J edited a bulletin

That no one read

From a small town in Khandesh

Renowned for its exposés about government projects

Hence threatened

Torch-light flashed on his window

Prank calls to his office

His shirt, pant and under-garments in the balcony, burnt

The tulsi plant at the gate, crushed

His Atlas cycle smashed to pieces

A warning

How Mr J died

No one knew

His carcass found in a sugarcane field 

Near the highway

When his wife, now widow

Who no longer lived with him

Demanded an open trial

The police said, his murder is a figment of the imagination

And then, the state, it sued truth for libel

20 Resolutions for Gudi Padwa

1) Be prepared for a 4-D world. If that's not possible make a joke about it

2) Morph bad ideas into good ideas; prevent the vice versa

3) If my brain forgets an idea, be able to re-boot; and recover lost file. On that note: Ensure file transfer with like-minded brains

4) Be able to entertain myself through by conversing with self on Skype

5) Be prepared for a 5-D world

6) Send post-cards to the dead people I love

7) Have X-ray vision that helps me judge a book by its cover; and people by their fake smiles

8) Get away with flatulence in office meetings and family dinners

9) Remember birthdays; and be able to gift people with what they want; and wrap presents in a gift wrapper nicely

10) Always decipher jargon at the first attempt

11) Day dream on command; discover a cure for cancer

12) Master the art of talking to a microphone; which is what great public speakers do

13) Be prepared for a 13-D world; and when it arrives wonder how Satan will look like in a 13-D world?

14) Never blurt out wrong things when I meet famous people

15) Dart between sun-rays; on a warm day

16) Always perfect the art of being in the right lane without having a PhD in neuroscience

17) Be able to read "Quantum Evolution" by Jonjoe McFadden; and not spill the popcorn when I turn the pages

18) Develop an anti-prejudice sound-field that jams unpleasantness

19) Ensure my cellphone replies to calls and sms on its own; through high levels of consciousness

20) Be prepared for a 20-D world; even if that sounds like tosh, right now

To Asghar Ali Engineer Saab, I say ...

1.

To the local astrologer, I went and asked

Junaab: yeh inquilaab kab aayega?

2.

His followers prohibited from worshiping idols

Yet his lordship prays to his fleet of Rolls Royce engines

Instead of blessing his tribe with the Ta'wil and Ta'fsir

When they crawl for the Sajda under his feet

3.

Spies, spies, they are everywhere

Imprisoning you for what you think

4.

Ali Sardar Jaffri

Balraj Sahni

Kamleshwar

Khwaja Ahmed Abbas

Krishnan Chander

Others

Unlike you
All of the above, sign Madame's letter

Instead of throwing the pen, away

5.

5-a.

You say to me
The Ganges may be Holier

But the canal

Near Maliyana and Hashimpura

Is bloodier

5-b.

The first story you told me
About the E Maidan

Where factories rioted with factories

And the brassware industry lived unhappily ever after

5-c

The second story you told me
About the constabulary 
Who severed her legs

And yet, the young girl (known for her personal hygiene)

Crawled to the river in Logaingaon

To complete her daily bath

5-d

The third story you told me
About potatoes 
Who were persecuted under Section 153 A

Since the innocent blood

Found beneath the soil

Improved crop cultivation

5-e

We have been notified

The 300 mini-riots in 1990

Cannot be classified as riots

It was an endeavour in communal harmony

To recycle the dead beings into medical implants

For the other

6.

Asghar Ali Engineer Saab
To you, I say

Gaali khaya

Maar khaaya

Jihaad kiya

Now let's go to a disco

Where I know a dervish DJ 

We can drink all night

Till our faith fades away ... 


(Dr Asghar Ali Engineer passed away on 14 May 2013)

Five thoughts for the day

1. I think, my family is full of black sheep. I am the only white sheep in my family 

2. I think, I should stop using a smartphone since it contains Cotlan which is a mineral that funds paramilitary operations that prop up illegal governments in Central America 

3. I think, I should seek sponsorship that enables me to travel to Mars and permanently etch a :-) on its surface; so that it's visible from planet earth and serves to improve the general human happiness index

4. I think, someplace somewhere, a Scottish villager, a Buddhist family, the mistress of a football manager, a Wall Street swindler, an Indonesian billionaire, a Russian corporate executive and an international arms dealer are listening to the same Joan Baez song 

5. I think, I live one day at a time; during the nights I asthamise

Smallest river in the world

1.

So

I've four types of friends

Those with whom time passes by quickly

Those with whom I've roamed the suburban streets

Those that I owe money

Those that are not here

Their lies I miss the most

2.

I spotted a koyal

Who sat on a coconut tree 

Your sur have you found it?

Still waiting, the koyal said

3.

The government

Has issued a death threat

To all droughts

In this land

4.

The world

Has entered my room

Through a concupiscence crack

In the roof

5.

In my village they call rabi crops: bliss

When they sell it

In the mandi

It is at the wholesale rate

6.

A stream flows through my home

I measure it every day

It's tide, it's birth place, it's final source

It's sweetness

Today morning, I dip a bucket into it

To borrow water for my monthly bath

This loss, according to unconfirmed reports

Will ensure

It shall be declared

As the smallest river in the world