Her life was a simple statistic

Her life was a simple statistic
Rs 750 for a single session
Rs 600 for the regulars
Rs 500 for oral
No twosomes, no threesomes

Life was uncomplicated

She sought solace in prayers
Every Tuesday
For which she walked miles
In chaste clothes
Barefoot
After swigging a bottle of whiskey
Along with tandoori chicken

To muster courage
In order to say sorry
To her god

Best Gizmo of the Decade Award goes to ...

The greatest technology
On this planet
Has been invented by the Maldhari community
Who created the virda
Shallow wells
In the Thar Desert
That store rain-water
Separating potable drinking water from salt water

The drummer

A man
With no special talent
Loves to drum his ancestral drum

He drums all the time
Always, he is drumming

While breathing
While eating
While sweeping the streets
With a broom
While sleeping
While dreaming (which he rarely does)

He drums
His ancient drum

One day
Under the full moon
He bathes
He sees a pretty girl with mogra in her pig-tails
He falls in love
She is everything

Secretly
Their eyes meet
Till the meetings multiply

She can't drum
Man trains her
He tries
She tries
And tries
And cries

One day she runs away
From his drum beats
It is too noisy
Her parents say: it tarnishes the family reputation
Her neighbours say: it is diabolical

Man is distraught
He sits beside the river
He sweeps
He weeps

He decides to forsake his drum
He throws the ancestral drum into the river

Life plods on

A new day
Many months
Perhaps years

Man is lonely
Very very lonely
He is old
Very very old
He has swept the street
He is tired
Very very tired

He sits on the bank
To wash his feet in the river water
He sees a fish
Many many fishes

The fishes see him
One smiles
All smile
He plays with one, he plays with all
He is happy
His heart beats

Is it really his heart beat?
No

It's a drum beat
It's many drums that beat
The drums beat, together

The man looks

The fishes are drumming
The fishes are dancing
The fishes invite him
He jumps into the water

And drums happily ever after

Three shorts

1.
When my mother
Went to school
She was the only girl student

Mother carried her books, slate, drinking water
Plus her own jute sack
With which she could sit on the cold floor
With dignity



2.
He
Was the richest man
In the world
And he was very very happy

So happy
That he had forgotten
How to cry



3.
The baby wiped her mouth
And hungrily asked her mother
Why does daddy have nipples
If I cannot suckle milk from them

K

The innumerable false conversations
She had daily
Made her lie down
In the rice field
Waiting for the breeze

Three little gems

1.
In this land of ours
The little boy
Asked his maulvi father
Why do trees have Hindu names?

The maulvi whacked him on the head
And said
Don't create a new set of problems


2.
My uncle
Who was a Gaussian inspired economist
Said to me
A nation's prosperity
And true worth
Can be judged by the pedigree of
Her whores


3.
When
I opened the door
Victor Hugo met me
And he was naked

Hugo had surrendered his clothing
To his valet
Who was not to return it
Until the day's writing had been compiled

Murud

He slept
Under the pine trees
Covering himself
With a blue tarpaulin sheet
To prevent scalding hot, bat droppings from falling on his face

Unknown to him
Every sunset
Thousands of bats
Flew many nautical miles across the sea
They returned in the morning
Exhausted

That's
When he woke up
To their sunrise babble


He
Folded the blue sheet into a neat quadra size
Patted his own back
And said, how clever I am