Tuesday, April 24, 2007

My 42nd encounter with the peacock

What are you doing?
Asked the peacock to me
I'm writing 1,38,198 commas
On a piece of acid-free paper
Said I

Why commas
Asked the peacock

Since I can't match
The 884,647 words of Shakespeare
Till such time
I will mirror his commas

On Diwali day
I said
May a thousand diyas be lit, everyday
That's a lot of diya oil replied the peacock

Plus the light
Which casts long shadows
That will prevent my beauty sleep
Then my dreaming

Who discovered this thing called commode?
A marvellous piece of furniture
Tad better than Darjeeling tea
Said the peacock
Occupying the toilet
Reading my Sunday newspaper

The moneylender murdered by his wife
Says the peacock to me
Did you know?

The story is as follows
The moneylender and his wife are married in a state of discontentment
He beats her, she hates him
He drinks, she objects

She starves him
He steals food meant for her pet dogs
She plots revenge
Commits adultery
With his best friend

The moneylender files a deposition
Best friend is bankrupt
Moneylender is triumphant
Wife is depressed
She chews wild weeds
In a dreadful state of mind, she kills the moneylender

She is arrested
Best friend is arrested
Since the moneylender has willed the money in his name
Best friend becomes a lover-acomplice

This is the story of your village
Of its unhappiness
Says the peacock to me
What happened to the pet dogs, I ask?

Says, the peacock
As always you pose the wrong query
Since the day of the trial, the dogs start to starve
On the day of the judgement, they eat other
To their heart's content

How do you know all this, I ask
The peacock replies, village gossip

In my next life
I want to be a purpled-frog
Croaked the peacock
My visiting card will read: Mr Nyctibatrachus
Qualification: Outlived the dinosaur

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